If I Just Lay Here

We’ll do it all
On our own

I am writing again, but not online. I pulled out my dusty journal and stared at it trying to decide what to put into it. It’s hard to keep up with journaling unless you do it every single day. I know me and if I miss one day, it will turn into two, then three, and before I know it there is another layer of dust collecting on the cover.

I do miss writing on my blog. The brief stint in my journal has shown me that much. As this year is coming to a close and the new year is upon us, I reflected on what I wanted for myself this coming year. It will be a milestone year for me, I will turn the big 4-0 in April and I have to say it is not as scary as it once sounded.

I don’t quite know
How to say
How I feel

This past year was difficult and very challenging. I am still learning how to let go of my past and not let those hard moments swallow me up. They say ending a relationship is like a death. You have to grieve and boy have I grieved. I’m still not quite there yet but I will come out of my protective shell when I am ready. I know I am ready to stop watching life pass me by. I have some amazing people in my life now and the future looks brighter than ever. I can’t forget what has gotten me here though.

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

Throughout all of this pet has remained by my side, faithful, loving and so supportive. I don’t know if I would have pulled through as quickly without him. He reminds me daily how much he loves me and showers me with affection. I know he worries that one day I may get sick of it, but I reassure him that there were so many years without it there is no way I could grow tired of his doting.

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Snow Patrol- Chasing Cars

I’m not sure where all the journaling will take me over the course of this next year. But I am going to follow Brigit once again and attempt to join into the Erotic Journal Challenge. It may not always be sunshine and rainbows, but that’s okay. As long as I enjoy the ride it doesn’t matter where I end up.

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  1. I am soooo excited to have you along! I’m not sure where I’m going to go with this, but I am committed to the EJC. It is a labor of love ❤, and I simply haven’t found anything quite like it. I need the inspiration and direction of a prompt most of the time, so I’ll do my best to give that to others! (I love the use of song lyrics to pull your thoughts together.)

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